*Mood*: Fedup
*Song*: Slamdunk OST - Sekaiga owaru made wa

I am sick, i having frequent stomache and i having a shitty running nose and cough.
Why am i still having idiots who piss me off around me, when today is suppose to be a rather happy day.

I don't understand why i always so pissed up at home, why these idiots keep trying to make me feel pissed off. I can't relax simply at home and always give me crappy questions and not giving me ANY peace at all. WHAT SHOULD I EXPECT?

I already have problems with my digestive system, so i simply ask "Mum, please try not to cook red grain rice and let me eat white rice instead. My digestive system is not very good". That should be an obvious solution, but they are not ''clever'' enough to realize that.
What i get is A FED-UP FACE from someone, when i only softly suggested this. Don't give me that face much as you don't want me to GIVE YOU that face also. Its only a suggestion so i can improve my health.

And obviously, my stomache is not feeling good. That "someone" freaking love to cook some what-she-deem-useful-and-good pear sweet bai-mu-er soup. Is it suppose to HELP ME AT ALL? I think ''clever'' people need to use their ass to think.
It only makes me want to go toilet more.

And then, obviously i trying hard to concentrate here.
After 8984589239529385 times of telling her, "Don't ask me i am eating at home or not, IF I DIDN'T SAY NO, then i am eating at home. Always assume i am eating at home.".
IS IT REALLY THAT DIFFICULT TO UNDERSTAND THIS?
IS IT?
I am really fed-up with people EVERYDAY AT NIGHT AROUND 9-11pm, asking me "Are you eating at home tomorrow?". FUCK YOU, FOR FUCK SAKE, DID YOU EVEN BOTHER TO LISTEN TO WHAT I SAID?
Then why should i bother to listen to what you say, when you dont bother at all?

And so, fuck off and stop pissing me off!

*Mood*: Pissed
*Song*: Exile - Your Eyes Only

I am fed up, i am pissed.
I hate the fcuking @#&%^&#$ ICT, waste my time and injured every part of my body. I felt like i am thrown into pulau tekong once again. Why should i be glad and feel dutiful to serve NS when its so ridiculously unfair that more and more foreigners are coming here without the need to do all this 'duties'?

I am seriously fed up with the Scourge.
No wonder they are Scourge. . . . filthy and dirtied like mud.
Their actions and thoughts just makes me feel disgusted, i can't believe people are even looking forward to their ''ideas'' to improve us, its only ''deproving'' us.

*Mood*: Pissed off by the Scourge
*Song*: Exile - Your Eyes Only

The Scourge, time and again, proved their stupidity in organizing 'suitable' trainings for 'suitable' races. One dead, Two follow, one in Acolyte Military Training @ PT (Pig Trounced) Island and two in our 'friendly' and use-$-to-buy 'holiday resort'.
To be frank, what a Shit Ass Forces do we have. And funny thing is, the training is never really adjusted at all despite this numerous casualties and their numerous perfunctorily replies. What can they, these scourge, answer to those who have wasted years to raise their off-springs?

Coming to the Scourge Healer's Training. . . . the more i think about it, the more stupid it feels. Yeah, learn how to heal people for what? Go to battle mode, you really think they wouldn't kill the healers? Warcraft, time and again, proven that they always attack the healers. . .
Its time for these idiots to wake up isn't it?
And, how stupid it seems when you have 40-80 healer's each carrying a set of equipments to train when you can rotate and switch within themselves. Scourge Asinine Faggots, listen up man, you all just can't understand the facts? Or are you all too blinded by gold and resources that you all just listen to some idiots who are ''leading'' the warcraft world?

Oh my. . . .
what am i talking? Someone will assassinate me if i didnt windwalk fast enough. Watch out for my death but i doubt it will be reported because they will ''cover-up''?
The fog-of-war is proven useful, especially for Scourges who are so blackened and sunken.

*Mood*: Trapped and yet happy
*Song*: Exile - Your Eyes Only

I am trapped in my own heart of emotions like any other human.
The only difference is that i am a much more emotional and sentimental guy. Sometimes, i notice minor things that others don't, but yet, i tend to miss lots of things i should have spotted. I just think, maybe i am not sensitive or meticulous enough to notice them.

So, i am emotional but not sensitive, sentimental but not meticulous.

Knock it off, one day i will realize, what is in store for me.
What am i suppose to pursue, why am i alive and what does my life revolves around?
And for now, a song to share with you all.
One of my favorite, ost of a jap drama.

Exile - Your Eyes Only (English Version)

Verse:
While you've worried about the thing you only face
Every day's like the one before, the same for me
`Cause I don't Know what happens to you
Why couldn't I read the shadow in your smile
Heaving sighs means you lose your way, the sign to me

Why don't you tell it, the truth to me
You are the one and only for me through my life
Nothing gonna change my love for you . . .
You're my own

Chorus:
I'm never gonna leave you so you're not alone
Now you may trust my words to be true
If you wanna go on
I belong to you

And no lie is in my eyes on you

Verse:
Pray If someone tries us, we engage our faith
Hold on to love forevermore
And have to share joy and sorrow together

Take care of you with all my heart
`Cause you're my life
When you call me
I'll be there with you
On and on

Chorus:
I'm never gonna leave you
Never let you cry
How can I say good-bye to what we have
And so I just wanna say good night to you

And our love inside of you

Repeat 2nd Chorus:
I'm never gonna leave you
Never let you cry
How can I say good-bye to what we have
And so I just wanna say good night to you

And our love inside of you

Repeat 1st Chorus:
I'm never gonna leave you so you're not alone
Now you may trust my words to be true
If you wanna go on
I belong to you

And no lie is in my eyes on you

Wooooo

*Mood*: Free
*Song*: Dream - Sincerely -ever dream-

My last entry dates back to 16th October.
I felt like i am back from years back.

So what happened these days? I am so so so away from my blogging life which i adopted years back. Blogging had been some place to let loose my feelings and exasperation. More of a venting ground to me than a real what-kind-of-life-i-leading blog.

What awoke me?
The need and crave to be successful, recognized and wealthy.
Being rich is what will make a person feel happy and confidence.
I need to have more passion and be an active contributor and learner.
I think i can do that.

For months, i am studying in SIM.
I felt like i picked up some of my old skills and learnt new skills.
I would say i am getting good with 3D and animation, all thanks to Lightwave.
It make me feel more willing to do 3D and animation, than way back in SP.
Now, i am much confident with OpenGL, C++ and Lite-C.
To some, they consider me a pro already.

Hahah! I definitely don't think so. Anyone can be as good as me as long as they work hard and spent some time learning the computer language. Its only whether they take the 1st step to get the ball rolling.

Now now. . . what drives my passion back?
Thanks to Derek maybe. . .

Sometimes, other people who free-load on you, makes you want to prove yourself to be the best and nothing BUT THE BEST. And i would say, i can do it and i will do it.